Hey, It’s Another Comedy Contest…I Lost

There are few things in comedy that are more soul-sucking than simply doing stand-comedy itself, but a comedy contest actually finds a way to top it. Come on out, it’s a comedy contest! To a comic that means it’s time to drag your friends down to the club, make them watch 15-comedians, force them to […]

Fantasy Football Shaft

The time has come for men to hear those three little words they’ve been waiting for what seems like a lifetime to hear…”Fantasy Football Draft”! That’s right ladies, the love of our life is back and for the next 5-months you’ll be getting the Fantasy Football Shaft! It’s important to understand that we don’t want […]

Going Green

Everywhere you look in this country now people are “Going Green”. We have to “Save the Planet”. In my apartment complex the other day they slipped a flyer under everyone’s door reminding them to “Go Green” & make smart use of the heat/air conditioning. Really??? This has to do with “Going Green”? It couldn’t possibly […]

Benniha-ha’s

I went out to eat recently at one of those Japanese Steakhouses.  If you’ve never been to one, you need to go.  This is one of those places where the cook the food right in front of you and perform tricks and entertainment while they are cooking. The awkward part comes in when you find […]

Do You Wanna Take My Picture?

Next up on the shit list are people that ask strangers to take pictures of them and their friends. What used to be a once-in-a-while nice gesture has turned into a demanding egotistical daily dependence. You know the scenario: you’re in a line, waiting to get in some place, pissed off that you have to […]

16 & Pregnant

The integrity of this country is summed up by the TV show “16 & Pregnant”. It should be called “Gluttonous Trash & An Innocent Baby”. The fact that these moms get PAID to be on this show is what pisses me off the most. They shouldn’t get a dime from the television network after all the taxes […]

I Saw The Sign And It Opened Up My Eyes

I’m getting sick and tired of these stupid caution signs I see everywhere.  In fact, I’m getting sick and tired of signs in general.  They are a waste of space and an insult to anybody with an intelligent thought process. Like these signs in the street that say “Caution Blind Child” – are these people […]

Sleigh Bells Ring, But Are Ya Really Listening?

The holidays are here! This is the time of the year where we all get to put aside our differences…so we can last minute shop, flip off bad drivers, bitch about customer service, complain about our Christmas bonus, argue with our family members, beat the shit out of a fellow parent over a Tickle Me Elmo and spread some […]

What’s Eating Barbara’s Bush?

Election time is coming up and it’s time to give the magic 8-ball a better shake this time around. Bush is the worst fucking President that we’ve ever had. I don’t care if you are a democrat or a republican; he is hands down the worst President. And the proof that he’s the worst President […]

Bachelor Party?

I went to a bachelor party recently at a private strip club. Does life get any better than that? It’s you and 40 of your closest guy friends drinkin’ beer and drunk chatting with boners? Why would that be uncomfortable? Every time you turn you’re knocking somebody in the leg with your dick…trying to pretend […]